Alone
by getyourarton
Summary: The Doctor is alone. His people, his planet, all gone. But does he feel alone? AU featuring Mickey, Jack, Rose, and 10


**Disclaimer: I do not own anything Doctor Who related. Although I'm sure you could've guessed as much.**

"And then, he does that thing where he looks at you like you have spinach stuck in your teeth or something, and all you think is 'Oi! It's not my fault I'm not Gallifrean!'"

The table erupted into fits of laughter. Except the Doctor of course. He just sat and pouted at Rose as she, Mickey and Jack sat around the TARDIS' kitchen table swapping embarrassing stories. Well. Embarrassing for the Doctor that is. Well. He claimed that Time Lords were to superior to be embarrassed, but the pink flush that crept onto his face betrayed him.

The 'fantastic four,' that was what they called themselves anyway, had just returned from their latest adventure, fending off gaseous creatures that looked an awful lot like your run of the mill fog, except that the Silophane pioneers that wandered into it never came out. Turns out the 'fog' was reducing them to dust, absorbing their intelligence and then dissolving their flesh for breakfast, lunch, and dinner. But leave it to the 'fantastic four' to come to the rescue. Well. Except for when the Doctor insulted the Silophane Governor, and they had to run for their lives back to the TARDIS. It seemed like that sort of thing was becoming a habit for these four.

That was how the conversation came up. Over dinner.

"Gosh, Doctor, you are always embarrassing yourself in front of royalty!" Jack said, as he threw himself into the chair as they celebrated with oversized glasses of wine, courtesy of the TARDIS.

"Time Lords don't get embarrassed Jack." The Doctor insisted.

"Right," Mickey interjected, "like that one time with the Prince of Crath. The look on your face when you realized you called his wife a, well, you know." Jack, Mickey, and Rose were laughing heartily. The Doctor was not as amused. Soon everyone was jumping on the wagon, not even finishing a story before the next person jumped in with a new one. The more they drank, the faster the stories came. They were talking about all the things the Doctor says that are all Time Lord-y and complicated when Rose brought up his, "you are a stupid ape" look.

"Just yesterday," Rose began, giggling as she went, "I was asking about the Gallifrean etched above the console, and... and..." she burst into laugher, "I must've wiped my face three times before I realized I didn't drool on myself, he just couldn't believe I didn't know!" The Doctor had heard quite enough.

"That's because it was my name, Rose. No one can ever know my name." The Doctor tried to speak out over their laughter. His voice was tight, but he was trying hard to keep it light. They hadn't looked so carefree in a while, and he didn't want to ruin it.

"Oh, and what is your name Doctor? Your proper name?" Rose giggled. "Tell me," she teased, "You can tell me anything, Doctor." She laughed with the others, but he thought he saw a hint of seriousness in her eyes.

"Yeah, what's a name that means 'alone, in denial, and cries himself to sleep?'" Jack roused him from his thoughts.

"Sounds like Rose Tyler!" But Mickey was the only one laughing this time. Jack shot a glance at Rose, who was staring a hole through Mickey's left eye. The Doctor squeezed Rose's knee lightly under the table, and gave her a concerned look before turning his attention to Mickey.

"Oi Idiot! She's not alone! She's got you, and she's got Jack, and she's got Jackie, and she's got me!" The pink tinge of embarrassment had shifted to the red of anger, and the vains in his neck and forehead began to throb.

"Well, yeah, but she hasn't _got you_, Doctor!" Mickey blurted. The Doctor opened his mouth, but no words came. What did he mean she didn't _have him? _They were best mates! And so much more than that. He loved her for Rasilon's sake, couldn't they see that? Rose jumped out of her chair and ran out and down the corridor. Jack elbowed Mickey hard in the ribs. "OI! What was that for?"

"You are an idiot. A complete, total, idiot." Jack reprimanded him. The Doctor stood to follow Rose, but not before showing Mickey why so many called him the Oncoming Storm. Mickey's face fell. He hadn't meant to betray Rose. He just didn't think. Rose and the Doctor hadn't told each other their feelings, and Mickey knew that Rose was feeling lonely because of it. But he shouldn't have said it. Not like this. The Doctor turned to the TARDIS ceiling as he silently pled with her to show him the way to Rose.

Rose wanted to get as far from the others as possible. How could Mickey, her oldest friend, say that about her? And in front of the Doctor?! She knew that the Doctor didn't feel anything more than friendship for her; ever since Reinette, he had made that clear. But she had come to terms with it. Now the Doctor knew. Oh God. Was he going to kick her off the TARDIS? She didn't think she could bare it. The TARDIS hummed in sympathy for her, and a door appeared to her left. Rose ran through and disappeared from the corridor.

The Doctor ran out of the kitchen after Rose. "Where is she old girl? Where have you led her?" He ran his hands along the wall of the TARDIS, feeling the gentle vibrations leading him in the right direction. Soon he came to the door of a long forgotten room. He used to come there when he wanted to think. It was the perfect model of a park he had once visited on New Earth. He opened the door. The smell of apple grass and fir trees hit him as he walked further in. It was night, but the stars and moon shone brightly, and he could just make out the silhouette of Rose swinging slightly on the swing set several meters ahead of him. Within a few long strides, he was standing behind her. She looked so beautiful in the moonlight, he thought. The Doctor regretted not taking her to the place the room was designed for. Maybe soon. If she's still around.

"Rose," he almost whispered as he stirred her from her thoughts. Rose stopped swinging, but she didn't say anything.

"Mickey's an idiot." He began. "I said so from the beginning, actually. If you recall..." the Doctor chuckled as he pushed Rose on the swing lightly. Her stomach flipped at the contact, and she lifted her feet to allow herself to swing.

"Do you..." he started. For having such an enormous gob, he certainly was struggling to find the words. "Have I... are you..." he stumbled.

"Just say what you're tryin' to say Doctor." Rose's voice fell flat, and the Doctor's hearts sank.

"Do you regret coming with me, Rose?" The Doctor rushed, staring at his feet and dropping his hands to his side. Maybe she felt lonely because he had taken her from her mother. Maybe she was craving a normal life, the one thing he couldn't give her. Rose stopped herself and twisted around to look at him.

"Never, Doctor. Not a single day. Not even when you left me stranded, 3,000 years in the future with dismembering clock people." The Doctor inhaled sharply. He knew she had been upset when he went to save Reinette, but he didn't know how much it had hurt her. He kicked himself for not seeing it. But Rose went on. "You've shown me a better way to live my life, Doctor. How could I ever regret that?" The Doctor looked her in the eye as he shakily let out the breath he had been holding. He sat on the swing next to Rose and spun to face her.

"You know you aren't alone, right? And.. and what you said to me... earlier... about how I can tell you anything. It goes both ways, you know that right?" He tried to keep the panic out of his voice with only a little success.

"I know." Rose let out a watery chuckle. "I guess I just... I mean, I just want..."

"What is it Rose? You can tell me," the Doctor urged as he got up to face her straight on. Rose looked him straight in the eye for the first time in what seemed like forever to the Doctor.

"Do you feel alone Doctor?" She asked quietly, her voice barely a whisper.

The Doctor glanced down at his feet. "I _am_ alone Rose." Rose felt the tears brimming in her eyes, but refused to let them fall. She wouldn't let the Doctor see how much it hurt her. "Everyone I ever..." his voice broke with emotion that he had held in for so long. Rose stood to wipe the tears from his cheek with her thumb and let her hand rest there. He looked up at the stars. "My people are gone. My planet is gone. The TARDIS and I are the last of our kind, and I am responsible!" The tears were coming faster, but he soldiered on. "And it was all for nothing! The daleks came back. And who knows if they may come back again. Seems I just can't get rid of them," he chucked sadly. Rose's heart sank with the knowledge that she couldn't take away his hurt, and yet leapt because he was finally letting her in. His eyes suddenly darted to hers, and his hand covered the one she had placed on his cheek.

"But I don't _feel_ alone, Rose. Because of you. You filled the void in my hearts Rose." The tears spilled from her eyes. She must be having some sort of sick dream. But as his hand cupped her face, she knew it was as real as the fact that aliens exist. Something changed in the Doctor's eyes that she couldn't place. His eyes flitted down to her lips as he leaned toward her. He looked up one last time, to make certain that what he was about to do was okay. Satisfied, he put a hand around her waist and pulled her toward him. Their lips met in a gentle kiss, and their eyes fluttered closed as they enjoyed their newfound closeness. The Doctor pulled away slightly to rest his forehead on Rose's.

"I... I l..." the Doctor's voice broke with emotion Rose didn't even know he possessed. She pressed her lips to his once more, this time more fervent, as she poured all the love she had into this kiss, as if it was the first and the last time she ever could. He responded with equal urgency until Rose's need to breathe ended it, far too soon in his opinion.

"I love you too" She whispered in his ear as she grabbed his hand and headed toward the door.

"Rose?"

"Yes, Doctor" she turned to face him. His expression was transparent now, and she could see all the love in his hearts. Her breath caught at the sight. He grinned.

"How long are you going to stay with me?"

She beamed, "Forever."


End file.
